Living with anxiety: the body's alarm system

Your heart is racing, your breathing feels tight, there's a knot in your stomach. There's no visible danger, yet your body is acting as if there is. Many people who experience this first worry that something is seriously wrong. In fact, much of what you're feeling is a very old system doing its job: trying to protect you.

What is the alarm system for?

The human brain evolved to get the body moving quickly when it senses danger. This is often called the fight-or-flight response. When a threat is detected, the heart beats faster, more blood flows to the muscles, breathing speeds up and attention narrows onto the threat. When you need to step back from a car coming toward you, this system saves lives.

The trouble is that the alarm can't always tell a real danger from a thought that feels dangerous. Tomorrow's meeting, an unanswered message or an uncertain health question can press the same button. So the body gets ready to run even when there's nothing to run from.

Why does anxiety feed on itself?

The physical signs of anxiety are unpleasant, and they often turn into a new worry: Why is my heart beating so fast? What if something is happening to me? That thought sets the alarm off again, the symptoms grow, and a loop forms.

Another thing that feeds this loop is avoidance. Staying away from what makes you anxious brings relief in the short term. But the brain draws a conclusion from it: so it really was dangerous. Over time the list of things you avoid grows, and life slowly gets smaller.

Relating to the alarm differently

The goal isn't to get rid of anxiety completely. Anxiety is part of being human, and sometimes it tells us something important. A more realistic aim is to be able to look at the alarm differently when it goes off. A few small steps that some people find helpful:

• Name what's happening: Saying to yourself, "this is the alarm going off in my body," can stop you from reading the sensation as a catastrophe.
• Slow your breathing: Making your out-breath a little longer than your in-breath can send your body a signal to settle.
• Come back to your body and the present: Noticing your feet on the floor, the sounds and colors around you, brings your attention back to now.
• Approach in small steps: Moving toward situations you avoid gradually, without forcing yourself, can help the alarm recalibrate.

These suggestions may not work the same way for everyone. Each person's anxiety comes with its own story, and what helps varies from person to person.

When might it help to get support?

If anxiety has started to noticeably affect your work, sleep or relationships, or it's stopping you from doing things you love, talking to a mental health professional can be a good step. In therapy you can explore together how anxiety works for you, what feeds it and how you might live with it more easily.

Anxiety is not a sign of weakness. Often it's the voice of a system that is trying to protect you but is set a little too sensitively. Starting to understand that voice, rather than trying to silence it, can give you more room to breathe over time.

If you're curious about how I work with anxiety in individual therapy, take a look at the individual therapy page.